Tegan: When Sara and I were teenagers, sometimes we smoked the pot. It smells like marijuana, that’s why I’m telling this story. It looks like giant billows of marijuana smoke are coming up on stage, but it’s not. I figure we’ll be high by the end of the show, which is exciting. But when we were teenagers we used to smoke pot from time to time and one time we got pot with a few of our friends and we smoked a bunch of it. And we were like you know, we were about to do the thing where you make the food after you smoke pot. So we went upstairs, out of the basement, and we started to make snacks and stuff. And my mom came home from work and we were all like “Hey, what’s up?” And that was not out of the ordinary. It was fine. My mom was all like “Hi.” And went down stairs to start work. Like she was going to school at the time. About five minuets later I herd “Sara, will you come here?” And so Sara went down stairs and we were all like “Be cool man.”
Sara: It’s so funny because you obviously smoked more pot than me cause that’s not actually how it went.
Tegan: Lets just say that for the sake of this story, that’s this how it’s going to go.
Sara: Okay.
Tegan: Basically one by one my mom called us down stairs. But a few minutes would pass in between each person that she would call downstairs. Until finally, it was just me up in the kitchen. I was like “Where did everybody go? What’s happening?” So then I went downstairs. Sara thinks that was her. It doesn’t matter, we’re one in the same really. We share the same brain. At night we just look into each other’s eyes for about 30 seconds and we just transfer all our thoughts telepathically. So anyway, I go downstairs and I walk in and it like fucking a scene out of Blair Witch. Sara and two of my friends are sitting on the couch, my mom’s back to me as I walk in. And she slowly spins around and she’s got the bag of pot in between her hands. And I was like “Oh, no.” So my mom did the best thing that a mom can do and she she was all like, “Let’s roll this shit up right now, and lets smoke it together.
Audience: !!!!
Tegan: Yeah!!! Super cool. I was like Fuck No. Holy Christ no, that was so embarrassing. I was like “Oh my god, I am dying.” My mom was like “Come on we’re all gonna get high together. It’ll be so cool. We’ll hangout and eat. It’ll be so fun.” I was like:
*Tegan shoots herself in the head*
Tegan: Anyways, so my mom, she flushed the pot down the toilet. A of my friends took credit for it. We said that we were just “holding it” for somebody. And then my mom made us sit there with her and burn out without any food. It was pretty fucking awful.